This is Futureviews (foo-too-reh-voos), a segment where I review movies that haven't come out yet...and then gloat quietly to myself as you inevitably agree with me...ain't I a stinker?...
Happy September, everybody...well, sorta...September is one of those lame months of the year, where you're not quite used to the academic routine but it's in full swing...the weather sucks (i.e. Hurricane Ike being sorta
outside my window)...and the choices as far as the box office goes are both broad but limited...assuming of course you have enough common sense to avoid things like
Bangkok LAMEgerous...not to say I haven't liked Nicholas Cage in some of his movies (i.e.
The Wicker Man), but come on...if you've already seen
Wanted, there's no point in checking this one out...
Anyway, on to the heart of this post...INGEST MY BASELESS OPINIONS, NOW!...
Burn After Reading - George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the cop from
Fargo, and John Malcovich in a Coen Brothers film...need I say more?...
Watch! That! Shit!
Righteous Kill - Sounds like a topic I should debate with my paladin, but it's a movie with
Robert of Niro and
Al Pacino investigating a series of murders...having seen
88 Minutes about 88 times, I've lost any flavour I might have for this kind of movie with Pacino in it...it's an okay movie, about as good as
Vantage Point...
I'm not going to watch it, but if you've got nothing better to do, go ahead...
Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys - Now, I haven't watched any of
Tyler Perry's work...I hear it's all fairly hit or miss and I haven't really had any interest in any of them before this one...the trailer makes it look like a solid drama, though reading the synopsis worries me when I find out that a good portion of the film is dedicated to the matriarchs going on a cross-country road trip...that ain't my kinda deal, but I'm still going to give it a glance despite my reservations...
It's worth a look...
The Women - It's
The Last Kiss with more chicks and less
Zack Braff...if I know my readers at all, y'all are as uninterested as I am...if I'm wrong, remind me to reprimand you next time I visit...
Not even a combination of sex, Reeses pie, and 8-hours of D&D could make me watch this film...
Ghost Town - Mediocre comedy...like
The Sixth Sense except the main character is actually alive for most of the movie (and Dumbledore dies and Vader is Luke's father and it was Colonel Mustard with the Lead Pipe in the Library)...probably just as funny too (I laughed)...
I'm not gonna watch it, but it wouldn't be a bad decision to do so...
Lakeview Terrace - This movie is not a work of fiction...we all know
Samuel L. Jackson is a badass in every way imaginable (FUN FACT: Did you know that
Scorpions on a Ship is the first production Jackson has turned down a role in since he was asked to play a Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard in a high school play?)...shoot, some of you may have even thought to yourselves "Golly! Wouldn't it be great is Samuel L. Jackson was
my neighbor?"...
Well, you're wrong...this is not a work of fiction...it's a documentary...may it serve as a warning to you all...
My Best Friend's Girl - I feel sorry for
Jason Biggs...
American Pie both made and destroyed his career...however, he has served us well be acting as a harbinger for bad romantic comedies...
Plus, Dane Cook is lame...don't watch this...it's not going to be good...
Eagle Eye - I love
Shia LaBeouf...he is one of those few actors who simple cannot be in a bad movie...he's a young actor, but that's still a great accomplishment...plus,
Billy Bob Thorton?...shit, yea!...he's way too good an actor to be in some of the movies he's been in...but he still does quality work...
Watch this one!...
The Lucky Ones - Rachel McAdams, Tim Robbins and Michael Peña go on a road trip...I generally don't like road trip movies...they tend to blow...especially with 2 dudes and a chick...
Unless of course, you're traveling through
Limbo...don't watch this...
Miracle at St. Anna - I generally enjoy
Spike Lee's work...
Do The Right Thing is one of my all-time favorite films...and this looks like it'll be no exception...I am most definitely going to see this film...the trailer gives me this nice creepy feel that I don't often get (unless I'm watching
Gurren Lagann, in which case I'm in Constant Shivgasm Mode)...looks to be a WW2 drama with a hint of supernatural mystery and probably some attention called to racial divide...
Maybe we'll see some folks that aren't black or italian in this one...go watch...
That's it for this month...tune in again in October for another barrage of biased, but accurate Futureviews!...
